Falling Feathers
by The Last
Summary: Scraps of poetry, taken from the journal and thoughts of a dark bird... [Poetry]
1. Breaking Down Walls

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Teen Titans, and the only reason this is here is because I'm too broke to hire a lawyer. So sue me. Wait...

This is going to be a random collection of poem bits and pieces, Raven-centric, that I've written since... well... whenever I started writing fanfiction. There might be short one-shots thrown in occasionally. Some of it **is** going to be confusing, but bear with me and maybe you'll get it. These are in no order, and don't go together whatsoever.

-Breaking Down Walls-

_You're breaking down the walls  
__I've put around myself  
__You're melting the ice  
__That froze my soul._

_You're the warmth in the cold  
__That's keeping me alive  
__You're the light in my dark  
__That's keeping me sane._

_You're everything I'm not  
__And I need it-  
__Lust it-  
__Crave it-  
__That missing part of me  
__That I can't feel-  
__But, suddenly- am._

_You're changing my world  
__To a dizzying perspective  
__You're opening doors  
__That long have been closed._

_You're breaking the bonds  
__That have bound me to Him  
__You're opening the cage  
__That's held me in._

_You're setting me free  
__From my prison dark  
__Ah, to soar!  
__Free…  
__In your arms._

Raven closed the journal, a soft smile on her face, and set it and the pen down gently. Then she rose, going out the door to the common room, ready to face a new day- because she was free in his arms.


	2. So It Is Written

**Disclaimer:** Randomness is my middle name, and Ryena is my muse... but other than that I don't own anything.

Another poem to add in... I've got several other ones that I'm just tweaking or making longer... or trying to figure out what the heck I was thinking. Rating pops up because of language. Thanks to Seth Turtle and animeobsessed3191for reviewing!

-So It Is Written-

On the day of my birth, they looked  
Into the future and saw:  
I am destined to destroy the world.  
So it is written,  
So it shall be.

My father, a demon.  
My mother, a human.  
Myself: the half breed bastard.  
So it is written,  
So it shall be.

Fire and hell  
Come to the surface  
There's no stopping it.  
So it is written,  
So it shall be.

What goes down in ink  
Shall come true  
As it was written.  
So it is written,  
So it shall be.

_(Here there is an ink blot, as if the writer hesitated before writing more)_

And the girl shall find the strength to defeat the demon  
And the world shall be saved  
At her cost.  
So it is written,  
So it shall be.


	3. Without A Sound

**Disclaimer:** Not in a million years. Check back with me in 12005, k?

Here's a third poem, with thanks to knightfire, Seth Turtle and animeobessed3191 for reviewing. It might be a little confusing so I stuck in some action, thus making it a one-shot. Short, but hopefully the point got across...

-Without A Sound-

The burning sensation from the gaping hole in her side made her gasp, falling to the ground as the laser beam sliced through her. The others raced on, trying to beat the darkness, unaware of her fall. Pain searing every nerve, she grabbed at the wound with a hand, trying to keep breathing even as the sound of death's wings whispered closer. Her eyes widened as something grabbed her ankle; she twisted around and almost screamed as another beam of red lanced through her. The sound never came, though.

_I'll go into the darkness without a sound  
Because the dark is dragging me down  
And if I dare to make a sound  
Then they'll stop and look around  
The darkness will drag them down  
Into it's depths without a sound  
And so I go without a sound,  
Because they should live…  
To go...  
__Without a sound…  
Without a sound…  
Without a sound…_

"Raven?" Starfire looked around anxiously, panting heavily even as they slowed. "Where is Raven?" The others collapsed, finally having made it to the surface, away from whatever had been chasing them. Robin raised his head, chest heaving as the eyes behind the mask scanned the area. He dragged himself to the hole they had climbed out off, searching the inky depths for an answer.

"I don't know, Starfire. I don't know…"


	4. Just Pretend

**Disclaimer:** Still don't. Won't you stop asking yet?

And a fourth poem to add to the list. Hope you like... a relief from the darker things I've posted/will post. Thanks to animeobessed3191 for reviewing!

Special Response: It does make sense, and I'm glad.Wrote soon enough?

-Just Pretend-

Raven looked out at the stars, arms wrapped around her knees, aware of Beast Boy sitting beside her. The starlight shimmered on her face as the Titan searched the horizon for some answer.

_I know you wonder if I feel a thing  
__Pain or hurt like you do.  
__You question if I too can love-  
__And I can.  
__And I can hate._

_You ask if I really care  
__And I do.  
__Will you know?_

_But you'll never be able to tell  
_'_cause this crooked smile's gonna hide it all  
__The mask's never gonna crumble  
_'_cause I can't risk that.  
__So I'll hide this feeling  
__And keep it hidden, a memory to brighten the dark  
__So smile with me, pretend you don't see  
__The tear falling from my eye._


	5. Ghost of A Smile

**Disclaimer:** Stop the torture, because I don't!

Fifth poem! Inspired by a line from a story I read a while ago. Sadly, I don't remember it now.Curse this memory loss...Hope you like, with thanks to animeobessed3191 for reviewing!

-Ghost of A Smile-

It lingers  
Like the smell of rain on the wind  
A shadow that waits for the sun to make it reappear.

It sleeps  
Catnapping for a moment, or maybe an eternity,  
But alert for the time to appear.

It flits  
Across lips unused to it  
Like a humming bird, darting, only the memory of it's colorful flash reassuring you it was truly there.

It shines  
Like a once forgotten star  
That revives with new purpose for the one who wishes upon it.

It's caught  
Forever in the mind  
Imprinted on the darkness, a warm blanket to wrap around when the night is cold.

It's the ghost of something so rare no one ever saw it…  
Until the smile lights warmly on the lips again…  
For a moment.  
Just to let them know-  
That I can smile.


	6. Changes in the Soul

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it, never will.

Just a poem about Rage over taking Raven. I might use it in a chapter/one-shot, but I wanted to post it up here anyway. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 for reviewing and sticking me on her favorites lists!

-Changes in the Soul-

Malevolent black  
Rising  
Drowning my mind

Raven froze.

Unleashing the rage  
I've kept locked in  
For so long

Breath coming shorter now

It takes control  
Killing my will  
Struggling

Falling to her knees, she dug fingers into the carpet.

No one will notice  
This change  
I've pushed them too far away

She coughed, trying to breathe, widening eyes flickering to red and black.

Save me  
Someone  
Save me from this creature  
I've created  
Hidden  
Stop it from consuming me-  
Someone-

_Save me._


	7. Never Started

**Disclaimer:** Once and for all: Nope.

Thanks to animeobsessed3191, JMPchick, and Seth Turtle for reviewing! And no, I have no idea if there's a formal title for that kind of poetry. Sorry! Anyway, I have NO clue where this came for, but I'm going to off for a little over a week, so I'm going to post a few more after this.

-Never Started-

It can't be over.  
The end came too soon-  
I didn't-don't- want to go.  
It can't be over.  
Where's the pain  
Of knowing that you'll be gone,  
Forever?  
I'm just…  
Empty.  
Where are you?  
Have you come to save me?  
Or say your goodbyes?  
As I lay here?  
Don't leave!  
Wait!  
I know you can hear me-  
Please…  
Just listen.  
Wait.  
For me.  
Just don't…  
Don't leave me.  
Alone.  
Forever.  
It can't be over-  
Not yet.  
I haven't lived my life,  
It was barely started,  
Haven't gotten free  
Been true to myself-  
Showed the real me.  
So please!  
Wait!  
Why are you leaving?  
Do you  
Really  
Not care?  
Please…  
Can't you hear me?  
Hear my heart breaking?  
Don't leave me-  
It can't be over-  
When it never started.

The machine beeped steadily as he turned, unable to stand there and watch her struggle to live, each chest fall the only reassurance that Raven was still there. As he started to move out the door, something made him freeze.

The flat line of the heart monitor would sound in his ears for eternity.


	8. Don't You Dare

**Disclaimer: **I settled this last chapter. Hah. 

Thanks to Tifereth Kantrishakim, Seth Turtle, and animeobsessed3191 for reviewing last chapter! I'm not saying who because that way it could appeal to all Ravenx pairings. This one popped up from when my grandfather was dying. More are going to be posted in short order after this one; enjoy!

-Don't You Dare-

Don't you dare try it  
Stay  
You can't leave  
I won't let you  
You have to stay  
Because you don't dare  
Try to go  
Without me  
DON'T YOU DARE  
You can't give up!  
Where would we- I-  
Be without you?  
Please  
I'm begging  
I'm trying to keep you here  
So stay  
Because you don't dare  
To go.

Raven grabbed the AED.

"Clear!"

As the electricity coursed through the handles into the near dead body, she felt tears rise and shook them away.

Don't you dare die  
Because I don't want to yet  
And I'd follow you anywhere  
Don't you dare…  
Don't you…  
Don't…

_Don't you dare_


	9. Tag

**Disclaimer:**I don't need this anymore, do I? Oh well...

And so number nine rolls around! This was inspired by, well, nothing. Hope you like!

-Tag-

It's like a game  
My life  
The one the little children play

Tag

You see, you're It  
And I'm running  
But there's no where I can hide  
Forever

And right now's just a reprieve  
Before you find me  
And the chasing resumes

But you don't realize, Father,  
That hiding here is changing me.  
I'm not so afraid, Dad.  
I'm a little bit stronger, Trigon.

I'm going to be found soon  
And then I'll start running…  
So let's play the game, Daddy.  
You chase, and I run  
But be careful, Trigon-  
Because I'm getting better,  
And one day, I'll be It.


	10. Dying Inside

**Disclaimre:** One last time people. What do you think?

I'm going to use this one in another story, but posted it here to gauge a reaction. Soooo?

-Dying Inside-

She's screaming inside  
Dying inside  
All this pain and hurt  
She's trying to hide

Her heart is breakin'  
Dead souls wakin'  
Reliving the pain  
So long in makin'

No tears are falling  
But her heart's calling  
Lonely scream  
Silence galling

Glazing eyes draw you in  
Deep inside down to when  
She was whole-  
But that was then.

And now there's only now.


	11. Crumbling

**Disclaimer:** Nooooo...

Thisis a poem strangely related to quite-a-shame's What is Love? Raven thoughts. Randomosity aboundness and some minds think alike... You can decide if that's a good or bad thing.

-Crumbling-

Crumbling

Beneath my fingers

As I struggle to hold it together

But it's failing

And I can't stop it

Can't keep it from ending

Inevitably

The barrier

The wall

That's held me together

Is failing

And I suddenly wonder

Do I want to keep it up?


	12. Double Edged Sword

Disclaimer: If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. But they aren't. So...

Just another poem. Thanks to Seth Turtle, quite-a-shame, JMPchick andanimeobsessed3191 for reviewing! Sorry it took me so long to get back on track. Anyway, enjoy! Or hate, whichever you prefer.

* * *

-Double Edged Sword-

"Swords cut both ways."

Even though it defends you

It can cut you just as easily.

You hold the blade with bare hands

And your sheer will

No matter how ready you thought you were

You aren't.

Because the sword cuts both ways-

(Because the shield can never crumble)

Or it won't be just you hurt-

(Or the entire world will die)

"A double edged sword

Hung by a thread-

On this the world is balanced."


	13. Rose

Disclaimer: If you want to call me and talk about taking it over, be my guest. Other than that, no.

This is Raven, using a rose as an projection of her in a poem. Thanks to animeobessed3191 and DynaGurl for reviewing!

-Rose-

Red, crimson petals  
Spiral tightly,  
Darkening the air with their presence.

Portecting it's heart.

Green stem  
Holding it's head high

Surrounded-  
Defended-  
By the thorns.

Prick your finger  
Let it draw blood  
An offering  
To the rose  
For touching it

And at that sacrifice  
That attempt to reach out to it

It unfolds  
Revealing it's heart  
The true self

And it's scent finally drifts  
On the wind

Free  
For a time

But a rose must wilt  
And die.

(A few rose petals, scattered over the worn pages: remnants of a rose.)


	14. Scars Go Deeper

Dislcaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Personally, I'm not attracted to the "Raven cutting herself" stories... but this insisted on being written. And I don't say no to Ryena. Or else she throws things. Thanks to Haunting Whispers, animeobsessed3191 and kmutt for reviewing!

* * *

-Scars Go Deeper-

Scars go deeper than the surface

**Raven pushed up the sleeve of her leotard, looking at the criss-crossing lines**

They're only the fading reminders of a deeper hurt

A troubled mind

Because something had to happen

To make them

They tell those who see them

That something is- was- wrong

Formed by a purposeful hand

Or an unstoppable accident

The pain is a scar on the heart as well as the body

Though the mind cloaks it

Hides it in a fog of time

The heart remembers and may chose to reopen the wounds

Revile in sensation that is purely physical

That needs no thought

**She looked at them, the blade in her hand glinting lightly**

Scars go deeper than the surface

A moment passed

Go deeper… to a troubled heart.

**Slowly, she put the blade down and pulled the sleeve back, covering the white lines. Uncertainty, a moment of weakness… and then she turned, exiting her room.**

But they fade in time

With the troubles that they show.


	15. Pay For My Sins

Disclaimer: Never have, never will.

And this is one of the 'Apoc.' poems. Started out differently, but this is what it ended up as. No reviews last chapter! Not even animeobessed3191- the world is sending me a message, isn't it?

-Pay For My Sins-

Death is coming  
I hear it's wings  
Whispering voices  
Words shadows sing.

It's coming closer  
Dark empty black  
Coming to take those  
Who won't come back.

But I won't give in  
I mustn't let go  
I won't let Death steal them  
It's coming, I know.

Death is coming  
Taking me now  
But I have saved them  
Someway, somehow.

When the four opened their eyes, the fatal wounds inflicted upon them by Trigon were gone, the flames from the charred city had been extinguished, and Raven's still body lay near them, a look of final peace on her face.


	16. Cruel Heart

Disclaimer: Still don't, but if you want to call and talk about it...?

Inspired by an hour long walk. Still struggling to write Upheaval... So when that gets up is questionable. Thanks to kmutt andanimeobessed3191 for reviewing!

-Cruel Heart-

Oh, how kind  
Of this cruel heart of mine  
To chose you to fall in love with

Ah, how sweet  
That, as it beats  
This pain that washes through me

And the knowing  
As this love's growing  
That it will never be returned

As every day  
In some small way  
You make me fall deeper in love

And every minute  
Spent to curb it  
Is in the end futile

Then finally  
It takes over me  
And I give in to it

Raven rested her head against him, knowing that, as he kissed her again, she was loved.

Oh, how kind  
Of this wise heart of mine  
To return the love you gave me.


	17. They Miss You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

This is Raven thinking about Terra and how everyone else seems to miss her. And the decision she makes at the end, to rid them of that feeling. I wasn't quite sure where to put this, but it wouldn't fit in _Memories of Shadows _so it went here. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 and kmutt for reviewing!

-They Miss You-

_They miss you!  
__They want you to be here  
__They wish that you hadn't made the choices that you did  
__They miss that smile of yours  
__They don't say anything  
__But since when did that matter?  
__I feel it  
__Deep in my soul  
__Every time someone reminds them of you.  
__Why?  
__What did you do to capture their hearts so thoroughly?  
__So completely  
__That they don't even know that they shouldn't miss you?  
__How can you haunt their dreams at night  
__With that smile or laugh  
__Or sheer force of personality?_

_Would it have been different?  
__If you hadn't done what you did  
__Made those decisions that you made  
__Would their dreams be free of the girl who shook the earth  
__And struggled with a power that both helped and hurt us?_

_So it comes to this…_

Raven clenched her hands, feeling the nails bite into her palms as though through a veil that was draped across her heart.

_How can it be  
__That I miss you too?  
__You traitor._

_Bitch._

She snarled, eyes glowing black as her thoughts roiled violently. The cave in which Terra's statue stood trembled slightly.

_Titan…_

Abruptly her eyes cleared and sadness crossed her face.

_How could you pull on our heartstrings  
__So hard that even I feel it?_

_They say that deep inside  
__You're good._

_You betrayed us…  
__But you were a Titan._

_One till the end._

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Terra's statue. The dark night outside offered no light here deep underground.

_Are you ready to wake up Terra?_

_They miss you…_


	18. He Understands Me Part 1

Disclaimer: No way in a very, very hot place do I own it. If I somehow manage to, I'll let you know.

Romance ((and significantly lighter)) piece! Robin:Raven... if you believe that, something's wrong with you, or you haven't seen my bio. Thanks to animeobsessed3191, kmutt, and Chibi Scooby for reviewing!

-He Understands Me-

_"He understands me more fully than I think I understand myself. He knows what I'm capable of, and maybe how much it takes for me to be in control. He senses the demon I keep locked inside of me; he knows the temptation of the dark side that calls in the night… that we have to refuse every moment of our life._

_"I balance him. He's a leader, but someone to walk beside, not behind. Together, we'd achieve our goals, bringing down those who'd deserve it, and maybe flying free of the cages that have bound us for so long. I can help him defeat Slade, because no matter what he says, he needs someone to hold back the fire that burns within him. The insanity that creates sanity. And I need someone to remind of what I strive for, to be that constant image of justice so that the demon inside of me doesn't take over. He's hurt people, and I have too. 'Birds of a feather fly together', as they say sometimes._

_"I've been inside his mind, seen what drives him; felt him breaking under more stress than anyone has a right to feel. He's caught me when I'm falling, and seen from an outsider's point of view what haunts my dreams and days. I trust him with my secrets, as much as I could anyone, because I know that if the time comes when I need to be taken down, he'll do it. Maybe there would be regrets, but they'd still be alive to have them. I think sometimes Fate put us together. Maybe that's not a bad thing. If anyone could help me overcome what I need to, and that I can love and help in return, I think Robin could."_

She paused, chewing lightly on the end of her pen. There was at a knock on her door; Raven glanced up. Beast Boy quirked an eyebrow at her and she laughed at his serious expression. Writing down a few more lines, she closed the journal and rose, adjusting the dress self-consciously until he took her hand and led her out to the Heroes Dance as the door closed.

_"Which is why I think Fate threw Beast Boy in too. Starfire will teach Robin to fly, farther than I ever could with my broken wings… and Beast Boy can heal me. Robin and I may be teammates; we may understand the other more fully than anyone else ever will- but sometimes you have to trust someone else. I will respect and admire Robin for as long as I live, and I will follow him wherever he leads, but as a teammate, and nothing more. Besides: how could I steal Star's guy from her?_

_-Raven."_


	19. He Understands Me Part 2

**Disclaimer:** I Do Not Pwnth The Teen Titans.

This is a Continuation from 'He Understands Me', with thanks to animeobsessed who suggested it. Fighting, drama, and romance will ensue! If Raven seems OOC, it's just how I wrote it. Deal with it. Let me know if that's how you feel, too. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 -I'm ducking the pillow- and kmutt for reviewing- hating and loving part 1 respectively.

-He Understands Me 2-

Beast Boy slipped into Raven's room, wondering where she was. A note on her desk said that she'd be back in a second- in the meanwhile, he was to not touch or go near anything, preferably the more breakable ones. With a grin, the changeling let his eyes roam, fixing upon a worn leather bound book. Picking it up, he flipped it open to the first page.

My journal. If you're reading this and you're not me –Beast Boy- shut it NOW.

For a second he actually considered putting it down- and then temptation to know more about the girl he was unofficially dating made him turn it to the last page and read.

"He understands me more fully than I think I understand myself…" 

Ten minutes later Raven let her spirit form come to rest just inside her door, twisting into a solid shape. Sensing that Beast Boy was already there, she looked up and saw him standing with his back to her, tense, angry, and with her journal in his hand.

Oh God- he didn't- 

But her fervent thought was interrupted by his turning around, jaw set and anger in those forest green eyes she knew so well. Hate swirled around him like a physical force and she almost recoiled.

"Raven. What is your problem?" Before the part-demon could speak, he narrowed his eyes and the journal started to compress in his grip. "Why are you doing this? What am I, nothing but something for you to toy with while you go after Robin? Did you think I would stay oblivious to everything? 'If anyone could help me overcome what I need to, and that I can love and help in return, I think Robin could.' " His voice took on an imitation of some love-struck blond, sighing and whining. Fear chilled Raven as she realized that he had read her last entry- without finishing it.

"I can-"

"Shut up. Shut the hell up! Did my feelings mean nothing to you? Did you like seeing me under your thumb, telling you how I felt as you hit on Robin? What the HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!" Before she could move, Beast Boy pinned her up on the wall, fury making him faster and stronger than ever. The journal fell to the floor as he used both hands to slam her shoulders against the dark blue paint of the steel wall, Raven staring with horror into the pinpoint pupils as pure, unfiltered hate mixed with rage, only catching glimpses of the hurt that the human still felt.

"Beast Boy- stop! You're hurting me!" Bone started to crack under the pressure he was putting on her and she winced, struggling now to be free. He didn't relent.

"Oh? AND WHY SHOULD I CARE? I HURT TOO, YOU KNOW!" His broken heart, hurt by the one he now thought had only used him, had released the Beast who had once saved her. Now it meant to kill her.

"Stop! You didn't read the last part!" In Nevermore, Love collapsed as though being beaten, screaming as invisible blows pounded the suddenly frail emotion. Happiness wilted, tears pouring from her eyes as Timidity grew; Bravery became entrapped by Despair's power as Rage faltered, diminishing. Pain cried her soundless pleas. The whole of her mind shuddered as changes shook it. "YOU DIDN'T READ THE LAST PART!" Silence took over her room as Beast Boy snarled, pushing his face closer to hers as the wildness in him readied to change his shape.

"I know enough." Violet eyes looked into green ones as a whisper escaped the gasping girl.

"No… you don't…" With a growing roar he flung her onto the floor; she grabbed the journal and lifted it above her head as his claws hurtled down. The tips stopped an inch from her head and she took in a deep breath, staring at the leather cover of the story of her life. Her grip on it slackened as the Beast fought to pull his claws out of it; instead she let go and he jerked it up to his face accidentally. Inhuman eyes stared at the last paragraph as he realized that there was one; the shifting of Beast to Man was no relief to Raven, who tried to call her powers up with no success. For a very long time neither moved.

Then, lowering the torn journal, Beast Boy stared down at Raven, shaking slightly. She met his eyes, her emotionless façade destroyed by the last minutes. He swallowed, something seeping into his eyes, and then dropped the journal, falling to his knees besides her.

"Oh God, Raven- Oh God, how could I? How could I try to kill you? I'm a monster- a monster…" His shoulders shook as sobs were bitten down. Relief filled the half-human and she pushed herself up, ignoring Pain's cries of warning, and threw her arms around him. He held her to him, the hot, burning tears falling onto her cloak.

"I'm a monster!"

"No!" Her firm, unrelenting tone stopped him. "No. You weren't meant to read that; it's not your fault. I love you, Beast Boy- no one else. I'm Raven, the emotionless girl, the one who was born to destroy the world- but I love, and I hurt, and I won't let my Father win. I love you." She let her head rest on his shoulder, giving comfort to the loved one in her arms.

"I'm so sorry, Raven. I'm so sorry."

"I love you. And nothing, not even Hell or the Beast, will change that."

In Nevermore, Love pushed herself off the ground, tear stained cheeks drying as she and Happiness stood. Bravery lay on the ground, holding her knees as she breathed; Despair twisted in sorrow as power from the emotion to Raven, Pain whimpering as the broken bones were healed by Love, who helped the hurting one to sit. As the last rumble of shifting thoughts dissipated, the multi-colored emotion looked up and smiled, taking the hand of a regretful Love from another's mind. With a finger Love touched the green one's lips, looking into the other's eyes, and then kissed him, as in the real world peace once again stole over the Tower while Raven and Beast Boy both healed, mentally and physically.


	20. Unseen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Teen Titans. Stop mocking me.

Another depressing thing to go onto Feathers. I wrote this a while ago and found it while rummaging through my files. Here it is- love it or hate it, review. It has nothing to do with He Understands Me, by the way- kmutt, I have absolutely no idea for what would be a third part, so there won't be one. Sorry to disappoint you. Which reminds me: thanks to kmutt and animeobsessed3191 for reviewing! I will be moving things from _MoS _to here in a bit.

-Unseen-

Raven watched Beast Boy walk past her, trying to explain to Starfire some odd cliché Earthlings had, her heart echoing with his voice.

_He could never love me. We're too different._ Picking up the book that had slid from her fingers, she buried her face in it, hiding the pain that flared at the thought.

_Never love me…_

**:T:**

Beast Boy walked by Raven, desperately attempting to get Starfire to realize when someone, namely Cyborg, told someone else, namely Beast Boy, that they were in hot water, it did NOT mean they were taking a bath. Out of the corner of his eye, as he rubbed his head, he saw Raven bend down, avoiding his glance.

Inwardly he sighed. Why did she never see past the comedian he acted for the others? Why didn't she _look_ and see _him_?

**:T:**

The hallway was dark. Beast Boy saw Raven coming towards him, hood covering her face.

_Now's my chance._ He thought nervously.

"Hey, Raven?"

"What." The flat tone, traces of irritation lashing out at him, shot him down. For a moment he stuttered, seeking the words to say, and then laughed, shrugging.

_She could never love me. We're too different._

"Nothing. Just was going to try and make you laugh, that's all. Guess that won't ever happen." Her icy glare seemed to intensify and he hurried by.

_Never love me…_

**:T:**

Raven watched him go. Unable to control her feelings for a moment, she had reverted to the old, emotionless Raven they all knew. As he walked away, her heart twisted.

Why could he not see her pain? Why didn't he _look_ and see the real self she had long ago hidden, afraid of what had just happened?

They walked away from each other, never knowing, never suspecting the other's feelings.

**:T:**

Unseen, love shatters in the darkness of our hearts, breaking our dreams.  
Unseen, we cry, scream, moan for the chance walked away from, lost to delusions.  
Unseen, we are apart. Forever.  
Unseen.


	21. Killing Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 for reviewing. 

Contains blood and suicide. Born of Raven gradually losing control after Terra was turned into a statue, this fiction is the black rosebud from the stem of agony Raven has felt, over and over. And if it blooms, the black rose will spell the world's end...

-Killing Me-

"I should hate you." The flat, trembling voice echoed softly in the cave. Terra's statue didn't move, didn't respond to the hidden note of agony in the words. "I hate you." The figure shook slightly, kneeling upright in front of the stone girl.

"I hate you."

Silence fell down, her pale face a mask that was flickering violently.

"Do you want to know why?"

Terra didn't answer, but the speaker didn't take her eyes off of the frozen girl's.

"I was supposed to be the emotionless one. The one who didn't feel, or cry, or laugh. Me. But now you've taken my place, and I do feel. I feel, Terra." A tear slid from Raven's violet eye, crystal jewel in the dark of the earth. "And it hurts."

"Did you know, Terra? Did you know that your arrival would change me? That after you came, I couldn't stop myself?"

She took a breath.

"But I'm here now. To apologize. Not to you, Terra. To my friends. Because I'm losing control. Because I can't stop it. Because I _felt_. I was never meant to- made to. And it's killing me."

She laughed hollowly. Softly.

"See?"

She lifted up her arms. Blood dripped slowly from her wrists onto the cold ground.

"And the black rose will be cut before it blooms..."

_Maybe when I see them next they'll forgive me._

_Maybe we can laugh._

_Cry._

_Live._

_Feel._


	22. What Love Is

**Disclaimer**: Won't. Ever. Simple as that, ne?

Yes, you have seen these two before. I'm getting rid of Memories of Shadows- I wasn't happy with how it was working out. Warning: Beast Boy:Raven in this one. Thankies to animeobsessed3191 for reviewing - good luck with the Kyo:Tohru goodness!

-What Love Is-

"I don't know what love is." Raven had her eyes on something in the distance, her mouth shaping the words and releasing them into being.

"I never… had a chance to. You don't know this, but my mother was killed by Trigon shortly after I was born. I was brought up in a cold, sterile environment, trained to feel nothing. _Nothing._ And so…" She glanced down at her hands, clasped lightly in her lap. "I don't know what love is like.

"People describe it in so many ways. It's so different, for everyone… "There are a thousand kinds of love, each one unique to the one who is feeling it..." Kathryn Blackstone wrote that.

"They say that love is easy. That it hurts. It's 'a state of mind'; anger turned around. It takes work; it just happens; it was always there and you're just remembering it. It's hot and cool, it burns and soothes, it's a dove-feathered raven and an angelical fiend." Her speech was quickening and more and more confusion and emotions filled her voice.

"I don't know what love is to me, but if it's something that, whenever I'm near you, makes me want to smile, to laugh or cry… If it's feeling that every time I see you, life's bearable, or that something about you completes me…" She calmed herself visibly, taking a breath and sitting back down on the stool gently.

"Maybe…" Her eyes looked up into the camera.

"I think I can love you."

Beast Boy shut off the VCR and TV, turning away as a tear slid slowly down his face. Behind him on the wall, a snippet of news paper was pinned onto the wall, next to photo of Raven, smiling hesitantly someone off-screen

**TITAN MEMBER RAVEN KILLED IN BATTLE AGAINST CRIME**

Early yesterday morning the Teen Titan member Raven was killed fighting the notorious criminal known as Slade. Eye witnesses say that she leapt in front of fellow teammates who were injured, protecting them from a fatal blow. "Jump City mourns her loss: that of a true hero who stood for what we all believe in," says Mayor Wilson at her burial. In a quiet, simple ceremony that elegantly portrayed what many called Raven's loyalties to those whom she protected, Raven Roth was laid to rest at Jump City's cemetery. A statue in her likeness was placed in the Hall of Heroes.

"Maybe… I think I can love you."


	23. Afraid?

**Disclaimer: **NO. Please stop asking... I'm running out of things to say.

In this one, Raven's talking with herself, and has gotten worked up about her feelings towards a certain someone. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 ((as always)), kmutt, and Black Embers Reign for reviewing!

-Afraid?-

_Are you afraid, Raven?  
_No. No, I'm not.  
_Are you afraid, Raven?  
_No! There's no reason to be afraid  
_Are you afraid, Raven?  
_NO! Why… should… I?  
_Are you afraid, Raven?  
_Stop it. No, I'm not afraid. I don't do fear!  
_Raven, are you afraid?  
_…  
Yes. I am afraid. Afraid he'll turn me away, break my heart, hurt me like_ he_ did…  
_Good.  
_Yes, I'm afraid.  
But I'll conquer it.  
I am afraid, but that won't stop me  
_And now, Raven, are you afraid?  
_No.

"Raven? What's the matter?"  
"I… love you."

No, I'm not afraid. Not anymore.  
Not with him beside me.


	24. Never Alone

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

This was inspired by a mix of Inuyasha and Teen Titans, but it's from Raven's point of view. If the 'my one. loved one' sounds a bit off, it worked really well when I was writing it, and I'm not changing it. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 and Radcliffeluverforeverfor reviewing!

-Never Alone-

You're never alone  
Not in thought nor spirit, not life nor death  
For you, only one, loved one, are always there  
By my side.  
For eternity  
Waiting to save me from those  
Who wait below  
Clamoring for my soul  
To feed their hunger  
Born of mine.  
And yet  
You never seem to think about it  
For protecting me comes naturally  
Your actions saving me,  
Your words lifting me  
From the depths of Hell.  
Somehow, dear one  
You never know  
That what you do  
Everyday  
For me  
Saves my soul over and over  
From the demons waiting  
Waiting for me to accept my fate and drop,  
Releasing the precious hold on life's brittle cliff  
To drop into the frozen seas below.  
But you  
You are my lifeline.  
And I cannot drop, for it would mean  
That you would come too  
And I cannot let my demons have you  
For they would  
And gladly rip you into a thousand bloody pieces before my dying eyes.  
And so I hold on, my one, loved one.  
Hold on because you care  
And you never seem to know  
That you are all that stands between me and the darkness  
That waits,  
To have me, one day,  
As it was promised,  
Without my knowledge  
Consent  
So long ago,  
And so, my one, loved one,  
I wait  
Wait and wonder if you know what you do  
And wonder if the day will ever come  
That I can leave this life,  
Finally  
And silence the demons of the shadows?  
Yet, somehow I know that I never could,  
Because, my one,  
You are with me,  
And I am never alone,  
Not in thought nor spirit, not life nor death.


	25. With His Blood On My Hands

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

TWENTY FIFTH ENTRY. You know, I really never thought I would get to this number. Thanks for all the reviewer support over the course of this thing! And no, I'm not stopping.

So this started out as one line, and progressed into the whole angsty thing from there. Wahaha. I'm evil. Thankies to animeobsessed3191 for reviewing!

-With His Blood On My Hands-

Feet pounded on cement as the remaining Titans chased down one who had been their own, eyes hardened by their pain and loss. The rain that slammed forcefully into them was of no matter, as the intent and focused three sought to hunt down Raven, and give Justice what it demanded for her murder of Beast Boy three weeks ago.

Moments later the rain ceased, though the overcast sky was still stormy gray. Starfire, who had been flying ahead, came to an abrupt halt. Robin and Cyborg slid to a stop, chests heaving from their exertion. On the ground in front of them, the still form of Raven lay. Dressed in a dark sweatshirt and torn jeans, one hand hung limply by her side while the other stretched out towards the freedom of the city edge. Robin knelt down beside her, two fingers pressing against her neck. There was no pulse. Raven, once of the Teen Titans, murderer of Beast Boy, was dead. He rose as Starfire bent to retrieve something.

On the road, half soaked by a puddle, a little black book had been thrown from her pocket when the teen had fallen, never to get up. The red haired alien picked it up, opening it slowly to the last page on which something had been written. Bits of writing had been put in at various times, eventually forming a poem that spanned over her flight from the Titans. Starfire read it out loud in a ragged voice.

They found me, with his blood on my hands.  
I tried to tell them, but they couldn't understand.  
So now I flee, hunted  
By the ones who I cared for.  
And still do.

I don't know if he's alive  
I pray to whatever god there is that he is  
Because if he's gone  
Why should I be here?

I'm weary  
Tired of running  
Of hiding  
From them.

It's too much  
My body can't handle the strain  
I'm swamped in waves of pain  
As my feet keep going…

Stop  
Just once  
To let me rest  
And try to understand why  
They can't.

My heart hurts  
Is it for his loss, or my pain?  
I can't tell

The world fades into blackness as night comes  
As my bleeding heart comes  
To a broken rest.

She looked up at Cyborg and Robin, tears falling down her face.

"She did not kill him, but we killed her."


	26. HeartBeat

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

Thanks to all who reviewed! Sorry it took me so long! As an apology, I'm going to respond to people's comments.

**BlackEmbersReign**: As long as you don't claim credit for writing them, sure. ;)

**RavenFlyingSolo**: Thank you for the compliment! I tried to frame it so it sounded like her.

**animeobsessed93191**: It was kind of odd, wasn't it? Anyway, talk to you soon!

**Radcliffeluverforever**: It was one of mine too, because of the fact I have a perfect image of Raven lying on the road, and everything fits together... Hopefully. Glad you liked it!

**cdlover**: 'Twas sad, indeed. There's no shame in crying!

**Phonix-Rising:** Hey! I wanted to get a hold of you! On _No Choice At All_, Raven didn't comitte suicide. She had to leave and go to another city that needed a hero, and for some inexplicable reason was the only one they could send. Guess I should have made that a bit clearer!

**Robyn-J**: Thanks for the multiple reviews!

-HeartBeat-

Raven closed her eyes, chanting softly under her breath. "Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos…" The world focused, clarifying and becoming simple in one dictate: calm. Everything was at peace as the half demon brought her power under control.

She sensed it, feeling rather than knowing the intense pain, fear, and utter loneliness that emanated from a child Raven had come to know over the last few days. Reaching out with her mind, the Titan soothed the troubled soul of the girl on a hospital bed, mask over her pale face and various tubes inserted into her thin arms. No one besides herself knew what she had been doing, for if the world found out about her healing powers there would be no rest for her… but this girl reminded her so much of herself that Raven was reminded she had wished someone would have comforted her like this. She whispered softly into the girl's mind, seeking to calm her broken mind.

_Place your hand on your heart.  
Listen._

_1._

_2._

_3._

_Can you feel it?  
That's your heartbeat- it means that you are still alive.  
Perhaps to love  
To hate  
To laugh  
To cry-  
To die.  
Ssh; don't be afraid- can you feel it?_

_1._

_2._

_3._


	27. Enough

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

Well, it's short, but I just scribbled down something and took a second look at it later. So hate me. Thanks to animeobsessed3191, Robyn J. and Phonix-Rising for reviewing!

-Enough-

Wasn't it enough?  
I gave you my heart, my life, my all.  
And now you say it's not enough.  
What more can I give?  
Myself?  
If everything I've given you isn't enough,  
How could that be?  
Go to Hell.

Raven's fist connected with his chin, her tears flying through the air like the man who caused them. His hands, outstretched to grab her, twitched as her hit the wall. "Consider this relationship _over_." She gritted out, voice rough with anger and hurt. Turning, she walked out of the apartment, nearly blinded by the tears in her narrowed eyes.

The door slid open, only the hydraulic hiss betraying her entrance to the main room. It was dark, and she turned no light on to show her pain. Slowly, defeated, she curled up on the couch, hair pooling around her face as the heartbreak filled it, not leaving even when she finally fell asleep.


	28. Knife Wounds

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

This is a scene where Raven has confessed her feelings to someone else, and her powers damaging her body instead of inanimate objects like they normally do. Eh, read it and find out. Thanks to animeobsessed3191 and Radcliffeluverforever for reviewing!

-Knife Wounds-

"Raven… I don't like you like that."

The knife thrusts into her chest, pain overwhelming every other sensation as her heart is ripped to shreds. The verbal blows rock her world but she doesn't move; impaled on her own words she can only stand, trembling as the color starts to fade from her sight…

Two hands catch her as she starts to fall; she can't bring herself to look at them as Betrayal screams inside her. The momentum of her body falling slows and stops as he pulls her to him. Every heartbeat pushes the pain through her once again. Even as she starts to die inside, his face is the last thing she sees before her eyes close.

"Because I love you more than you could ever know."

And the violet colored windows to her soul widen before closing, eyelids falling down. He holds her body close to him, one hand brushing the strands of hair out of her face. Slow and steady her heart beats under his gentle fingers as he kisses her forehead gently.

"More than you could ever know…"

And as suddenly as the knife wounds had been inflicted on her, they healed with the faintest glow of icy blue. In her deep sleep she sighs a little, shifting, and he smiles warmly at her in the moonlit hallway.

For what had once been broken will heal.

What was torn will mend.

After all, isn't that how it always works?


	29. Not The Only One

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

O-kay. So now that this is up (with thanks to animeobsessed3191 and Robyn J. for reviewing!) I ahve an exciting announcement- **Tempest** is going live! Check it out once I post it!

-Not The Only One-

_Why?  
_…_did you let her hurt you?  
_…_couldn't you trust my instinct?  
_…_did I let her hurt you?  
_…_couldn't I stop her?  
_…_won't you see she's not the only one?  
_…_are you blind to the world?  
_…_can't I stem the pain?  
_…_won't you move on?  
_…_don't you listen to my silent pleas to pull out of this despair?  
__You're not the only one hurting._

_I am too._

Raven looked out her window, seeing the moonlight play gaily on the waters. Beast Boy walked the edge of the rocky island slowly, one hand clenched around something that he would occasionally stop and look at, then proceed, pain darkening his face. She watched him with violet eyes that might have hinted at sadness, or merely by shadowed by the light. For minute upon minute they were caught in the web of Time's grip, the demoness watching, the changeling moving. He never looked up, had no idea she was there, never suspected that she too was racking her heart in an effort to understand. And then came faint dawn, managing to fade away the edges of night. Raven sighed, turning away to slip under her covers, trying to rescue a few moments of sleep.

And even then images of Terra haunted her.


	30. Piece of Paper

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Please, please look at _Tempest!_ So far, only one person (AWESOMENESS, animeobsessed3191!) has reviewed, and I feel unloved... -sad- Anyway, thanks to animeobsessed3191, Robyn J., and Radcliffeluverforever for reviewing! This is more one-shot ish then poetry, but I'll stick more up soon.

-Piece of Paper-

It's just a blank piece of paper.

She stares at it, defeated, by a blank piece of paper.

How? She wondered, resting her head on her hand. She has defeated villains too numerous to count, among which Trigon, Slade, and herself have made appearances. She had become a hero in the eyes of thousands, and day after day took down people who had turned to crime.

She was a Titan, and she had been defeated by a blank piece of paper.

Considering this, Raven studied the unassuming white parchment with a violet gaze.

Truthfully, when you're in love, not even words are enough to make it through.

With a soft sigh she leans back in the chair, running fingers through her hair.

Maybe she should just tell him…

A knock at the door startles her and she floats over, hood coming up as she opens the door two inches.

Outside, a very embarrassed looking Titan shifts his weight, looking nervous.

"What?" She would never admit it, but her heart jumped at the sight of him.

He shows her a blank piece of paper; she looks at it for a moment before sliding the door all the way open so he can see the one on her desk too. Their eyes meet, and he gives a little laugh as the tension drains away.

"Defeated by a piece of paper too?" Raven asks softly, not daring to let herself hope.

"Actions always spoke louder than words," he says, before impulsively leaning forward and kissing her.

Piece of paper be damned. He was right. After all, perhaps she hadn't been defeated by notebook paper-

she kisses him back tentatively-

But love.


	31. If You're Happy

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Well, I wrote this a long time ago... Eh, not good at all, but the mental image of Raven on her hands and knees during the strom just wouldn't leave me. So here you go. Thanks to animeobsessed3191, rock'n'rollbitch, and Robyn J. for reviewing!

-If You're Happy-

Raven watched, emotionless, as Beast Boy and Terra walked by the Tower base. As she stood on the roof,something in her started to disappear as their laughter reached her ears. Then, biting her lip, the empath sat down on the metal and rested her head in her arms.

_She had seen their faces, watched something grow between the two even as something sparked in her heart for the changeling. _

_They're happy. Beast Boy is happy. That was all that mattered. _

**What about you?** Something whispered in her mind. **Don't you want to be happy? Why should you be left out?**

_Stop. As long… as long as he's happy, I'm fine._

**Liar. **

"Stop."

**It would be so easy, to crush her-**

"Stop!"

**to bring him to you-**

"STOP IT!" She screamed, putting her hands to her ears. Ever since Terra had come, Raven had begun to unravel. Bit by bit it was becoming harder to control herself. She was going to have to tell the Titans- but Raven didn't want to see their looks of doubt or concern, or of fear.

Fear.

Fear that this thing she felt was love.

Fear that Beast Boy might find out.

Fear that he would leave her.

**Like everyone else.**

"Rae?" The hesitant query made her freeze.

_No._

"Raven? Who are you talking to?" She didn't move. The uncertain footsteps came closer.

Lightening flashed in the sky, clouds growing.

"Raven? I- I wanted to ask you something." Thunder rumbled, ominous undertones rolling through the two.

"Terra and I-"

A flash of lightening illuminated her scared face as the violet haired girl pressed her hands to the firm roof.

"Don't."

"What do you mean, Raven?"

"Don't." Her whisper betrayed her heart. Tears started to flow down her face, mingling with the raindrops falling down hard. She shook her head.

"I don't want to hear those words. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THOSE WORDS!" The screams ripped from the normally emotionless girl as her power flew out, unleashed by his voice. Beast Boy backed up.

"Raven!" Her heart breaking, the girl struggled half heartedly to rein in the black bolts. The door to the roof flew open as Robin, Cyborg and Starfire burst through, following Terra.

Her eyes glowing red and black, the Titan stood in a maelstorm of power. Terra grabbed Beast Boy, drawing him out of the power's way.

"Raven!" Their shouts didn't reach her. Like a whirlwind it enveloped her, channeling through the deteriorating girl.

_I'm scaring them. _

**Good. They should be. You could crush them right here.**

_I didn't want to this happen. I didn't want to this happen!_

**But you knew it would. And now it has.**

_Stop! STOP!_

She screamed, eyes flashing white. The wind hissed, cutting her with her own power. Raven collapsed to her knees slowly, looking down at her hands. Slowly, the girl looked up to see Beast Boy's worried face.

"Sorry." With that she started to disappear, the blackness consuming her in its efforts to keep going. As her legs vanished and her hands and torso slowly followed suit, Raven struggled, fighting to the end.

"No!" But she was gone. Beast Boy stumbled, dropping down to touch the place where she had been. Only her belt and cloak remained. He slowly picked them up, turning to the others as tears fell silently down his cheeks.

"Raven…"

_In the darkness she sighed, freed of her burden, of holding back._

_Goodbye, Beast Boy. _


	32. One Foot

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

ALERT: According to an inside source, there is a very dim chance of having a sixth season of Teen Titans! Please, look at Animation Insider: Teen Titans for more information - or send a letter to:

**Cartoon Network Official Mailing Address:**  
**_SAVE TEEN TITANS! (Big and Bold)_**  
Cartoon Network  
1050 Techwood Drive  
Atlanta, GA 30318

SAVE TEEN TITANS. And now, thanks to animeobsessed3191, Robyn J., and Phonix-Rising (It's both, and she died- as far as everyone knows... o.o) for reviewing!

-One Foot-

one foot  
in front of the other  
one foot  
moving forward  
can't look back  
mustn't look back  
for if I do  
there will be no moving on  
only staring in horror  
at the demons catching up  
so I must keep moving  
one foot  
in front of the other  
one foot  
moving forward

Raven walked away, every fiber of her tormented being shaking as her heart told her to turn, to look, to see what she had done.

But logic won.

Her teammates' last words won.

"_Live, Raven. Live, because we won't."_


	33. Go Out Laughing

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

You know, I just realized that I spent so much time on Tempest I completely neglected Feathers! So here's a random little piece that came out of nowhere- sorry if it sounds really, really odd; that's just how it happened. Thanks to Radcliffeluverforever, animeobsessed3191, Robyn J., and Phonix-Rising for reviewing!

-Go Out Laughing-

"Some of you may be surprised. I have to say I wasn't. It was the way she lived her life: never knowing if the next moment would be there when she opened her eyes.

"Maybe it wasn't fair for her to go like that. I don't know. I don't claim to know any more than this: no matter what happened, she kept going.

"There were tests in her life we will never know about; the things she may have meant to tell us but didn't, or the ones she did, but we didn't get.

"The one thing that I do understand now is that nothing would have made a difference. Perhaps another second and she would have lived. Maybe if she had openly told us everything we had wanted to know, we could have helped her.

"She chose not to, and I respect that.

"It wasn't a vain death, as you can testify. You are all still here, and without doing what she did, you wouldn't be.

"She died saving our world. She died laughing."

Robin stepped back as the silence of the crowd was broken by the sound of Raven's coffin being lowered into the grave; the silver patterns decorating the dark wood flashed once before being lost in the darkness.

The Titans could have sworn they heard her laughing in the distance.


	34. Maybe

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Well, now that all my other works are done and I'm mulling over story ideas, here's a little blurb that came up while listening to 'Starts With Goodbye' by Carrie Underwood. Don't ask. Anyway, thanks to animeobsessed3191, Robyn J., and a new reviewer: Call the Winds!

-Maybe-

Maybe I'm one of those girls who clings hopelessly to their love, thinking that if they hold on long enough, it'll be okay.

Maybe I'm one of those people you thinks that if they shut their eyes and turn away, they can pretend they've never seen the nightmare right behind them.

Maybe I'm flawed, like a cracked gem that's only broken crystal, but someone still holds onto, treasuring every flaw and distortion of light.

Maybe I want to be better; maybe I hope and wish _so badly_ that I think if I try hard enough, I can become better than I am.

Maybe I'm a person who thinks that if they do good things, they can make up for their failings and bad deeds.

So maybe I am-

but-

does that too

make

me

worthless?


	35. Mother

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

What fun! I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thanks to animeobsessed3191, cd lover, and Robyn J. for reviewing!

-Mother-

**August 14th **

Well, Mother did it again. Stopped by in the middle of my meditations and dragged me out to the park. Disgustingly cheerful, as always. Luckily no one was around- considering that it was pouring rain, I wasn't surprised. 

…

Okay, so I went puddle jumping. I can't lie to a _diary_, can I? That'd just be sad. It was… fun. On a side note, I'm charging the dry cleaning fee to Azar.

**September 7th**

Another visit. Somehow she manages to time it so that the other Titans are out or asleep. This time it was at 1 in the morning. You'd think she'd have a bit more consideration for her daughter, right?

Of course not. So tea it was.

Who knew pickles and tea went together?

**October 30th**

Halloween. The perfect time for me to stay home and get some sleep. The others are out watching over kids, though we all know they're trick-or-treating too. Starfire took a while to get used to the concept, but when she did, she managed to pull everyone else out. I was _supposed_ to stay back here in case anything happened.

Mother has a tendency to trample all over _suppose to_ things. So I ended up as _Tigger _and she was _Eeyore_.

I personally thought that we should have been switched. It's like she stopped maturing mentally at sixteen! But… maybe that's why I love her so much.

After all, no matter what she's done… she's my mother.

**December 29th**

I'm worried. She hasn't come by in two months…

I'm thinking of going to see Azar myself.

**January 3rd**

Everything's fine. Apparently some dimension travelers happened upon the 'most friggin' peaceful place ever' and decided to conquer it.

They must have been surprised.

**February 18th**

I'll have to tell everyone else about her trips soon. Cyborg's gone and taken his security system apart over half a dozen times now, and can't find a single reason for the odd 'blips' in his data. Wouldn't he be surprised if I told him that was my mother dropping by?

**March 1st**

Well, don't need to worry about that. She 'ported right into the middle of lunch and sat there on the table, grinning like it was the most wonderful trick ever. Needless to say, they were a bit taken aback, and I don't blame them.

So can someone explain to me why she's out there doing Double Dutch on the helipad?

_-Raven_


	36. Hostage

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

So this is one of the creepier pieces I've written (at least in my opinion). This is AU; they're not heroes, just normal people. Thanks to cd lover and animeobsessed3191 for reviewing!

-Hostage-

She twisted, straining against his arms, acutely aware of the knife poised to slit her throat.

"Let me go." The whisper was harsh, cruelly ripping from her raw throat, fogging in the cold air. He kept her pinned against his body, forcing a gasp from his victim as the arm encircling her waist tightened abruptly.

"No." The rotten stench of his breath made her wrinkle her nose and try to pull away, but the cold feel of steel against her skin stopped that movement as she swallowed.

"They won't come you know." She could tell he smiled greasily behind her.

"Oh yes. They will." Anger flooded her as she breathed shallowly, knowing the knife was already cutting into her skin.

"I mean nothing to them. _Nothing._" An angry grunt told her that he didn't believe her. Desperate, she slammed her heel into his instep, ducking as he roared with pain. Icy flames flared as the knife gouged past her eye, but she dove into the safety of the shadows.

"You won't be able to hide forever, woman." Her captor said savagely as he lifted a gun and surveyed the shadowed room. She muffled her breathing, one hand groping to find her own discarded weapon on the floor.

As long as they thought she was hostage, they'd come to save her. So-

A gun shot echoed in the dark building, reaching those outside.

If they thought she was dead – if she _was_ dead – they'd be safe.


	37. Gamble

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Gambling is bad. Don't do it. Or I'll hunt you down and... stuff your mouth with bleu cheese. Rather short, but self explanatory. Thanks to Spiderjuice (your review made my day- and there probably is something mentally wrong with me... o.0) and animeobsessed3191 for reviewing!

-Gamble-

_"Roll the dice!" The man cries, tossing the white cubes to another bystander. "Chance your luck and you might win!"_

Pick a number, any number

Let's gamble.

Let's believe that when we throw ourselves in front of the bullet, someone else will save us.

Let's think that while our lives are on the line, we're saving people.

Let's cry out for help in the darkness and pray someone will hear.

Let's live and know that while we're alive, the world may still end.

So let's gamble, and hope it won't.


	38. Books

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

This was fun. Just fun to write. A little bit of Beast Boy:Raven, but just hinted at. Thanks to animeobsessed3191, Firenze2000 and Robyn J. for reviewing!

-Books-

Another page turned under her careful fingers, allowing her to enter into a world full of magic and wonder, and safety for those who watched the love in it grow…

"Raven!" The book slammed shut and dust exploded over the main room. Coughing, the Titan pulled a piece of her cloak over her mouth, glaring through the gray fog at Beast Boy. He sneezed, waving away the choking cloud.

"Holy cow…" A few seconds later the thin film settled over everything.

"What. Do. You. Want." She grit out. He hesitated, then looked at the thick volume she was reading.

"What's that?"

"A book." He rolled his eyes.

"No, I mean what kind of book?" A faint blush skirted across her face and she hid it under her cloak.

"None of your business." His ears perked slightly, but the teen sighed.

"Raven, it's a beautiful day outside! The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the grass is green ("Like you, she muttered), and you should be out there with us." Raven shot him an annoyed glance and opened the book again. He stepped forward and pulled it gently out of her grasp.

"Raven, no matter what's inside this book, I'm sure it can't be better than today." She looked up at him, into the kind green eyes- and wavered. Beast Boy reached down and took her hand, helping her to her feet.

"C'mon. Let's go." Uncertain, she followed him out- but maybe he had a point.

She'd just make him clean up the mess later.


	39. Hell Bound Train

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Raven's dark side... 'Nuff said. Thanks to animeobsessed3191, Spiderjuice, StargazerSarah (sure!), and Radcliffeluverforever for reviewing!

-Hell Bound Train-

All these people  
So many of them  
And yet somehow  
We still fall short  
Of obtaining our heart's desire

**Blood**

Catch the falling star  
Hold it in your hands and  
Marvel at the

**Burn**

Then dream out the  
Window and look  
To the moon where it  
Drifts, a white  
Circle of

**Pain**

But there's no  
Stopping this

**Hell bound**

Train so  
Just sit back and

**Enjoy the ride.**


	40. Every Time

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

A lighter piece than the last few... I'll leave you to wonder what she did. Thanks to animeobsessed3191, StargazerSarah, Firenze2000, Radcliffeluverforever, and Spiderjuice for reviewing!

-Every Time-

_Three words. Three words healed me, stopped my tears, made me look at him in wonder._

"I believe you."

She stared at him in amazement, the crystal tears dripping off her delicate features.

"W-what?" He cupped her chin, bringing her closer to his serious face.

"I believe you." A shuddering sob racked her slender body and she gasped, throwing her arms around him. He held her as she cried, violent screams making their way out of her as all the anger, all the frustration, all the pain was lost in the steady fall of precious tears.

**Every time-**

**Every time I think I've fallen beyond saving**

**When I curl up and let myself be dragged down, towards where**

**I will never be able to breathe again-**

**You save me.**

**Believe me.**

**Believe _in_ me.**

**And-**

…_**thank you…**_


	41. Guardian

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

Wow. -blink-

Just... wow.

So thanks to all you who just... made my day.

Spiderjuice, animeobsessed3191, StargazerSarah, Radcliffeluverforever, cd lover and SxStrngSamurai13.

Guess who feels loved? _As a thanks: _I'll post another chapter and a one-shot.

-Guardian-

The Beast was born, sworn, to protect her.

_Black and green clashed, red, red blood flying everywhere.  
__Red, red Rage screaming in her mind, in her heart, in the bones of the world itself. _

And now-

_No time to listen to ghosts crying of what might have been.  
__Only time to snarl and bite and bite, reaching out with blood stained fingers- or were they claws? _

Now-

_Someone, something, whimpered.  
__And the blood would not stop spilling. _

He had to save her from herself.


	42. Writer's Muse

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

A double update. Those are fun!

-Writer's Muse-

Imaginative wellspring  
Foundations of clouds  
Let no rules bind you down  
Or blacken what is rightfully white

Choose to be

Different

_Unique_

And let the ideas flow  
For in the end, you may wish  
That you had laughed more-  
So do.

Raven shot a narrow eyed glare at her hand, which was currently writing in graceful, curly loops. In her mind she could hear Creativity's mischievous giggle- a strange mix of a bubbling brook… and the sound of wings.


	43. Driving

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

Well, I've certainly neglected this. And Cyborg. So he makes an appearance in this little doodle until my muses come back again. Thanks to Spiderjuice, animeobsessed3191, Faded Patchwork and StargazerSarah for reviewing!

-Driving-

"Watch out!" The whine of screeching tires filled the city streets as a metallic car swerved, the driver slamming on the brake. A honk came from the other car that had been nearly missed; the annoying sound blasted them as Cyborg looked at Raven with disbelief.

"How can you _not_ have driven before?" She didn't answer but pressed the gas, sending 'Baby' back out into the streets.

Hey, don't laugh at me  
My background  
Just because I'm different-  
But you won't, will you?  
You understand-  
At least as much as

Anyone can.


	44. Ride

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

I'm about to head out for a week. So enjoy whatever else I (might) post! Thanks to animeobsessed3191, SxStrngSamurai13, and Spiderjuice for reviewing!

-Ride-

Birds chirped. Grasses swished. Voices broke the tranquil scene.

"Gah! How da ya make them _stop_?" Beast Boy's yelp drifted over the hill, accompanied by the sound of hoof beats.

"BB, you can change into a horse, but can't figure out how to ride one?" Cyborg's amused voice was faint but clear.

"Please, Robin, I am still uncertain as to the purpose of riding on the back of a horse. I could fly you wherever you needed to go." The pounding of hooves crescendoed as a horse crested the rolling slope, heading nowhere in particular and everywhere at once.

Raven tangled her fingers in the reddish mane, closing her eyes as the black mare cantered onward. The rocking motion lifted her above the ground, giving the impression of floating, warm in the gentle sunlight.

_How is it possible to fly without wings?  
Has it always been so simple?_

_For here I am-  
Soaring_

_With no wings._

_Carry me just a bit more,  
And let me have this freedom_

_If only for a while._


	45. Cloudy Days

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

Well, it's been a bit, but I'm back! Thanks to shadow929, SxStrngSamurai13, Spiderjuice, animeobsessed3191, StargazerSarah, and Velveteen Rabbit for reviewing!

-Cloudy Days-

_T__he sky looks as miserable as I feel  
__And it makes me want to **cry** _

Grey. The light filtered into her room, lingering with sullen stubbornness over her as she stared out the window.

_This isn't helping me.  
I'll never be 'okay' if I don't do something **now**_

Finally she turned away from the depressing drizzle.

_I don't want to be like that-  
Always and forever **killing** all the joy around me_

A few seconds later the warm glow of a flashlight flicked on underneath the covers of her bed, and Raven settled down to read, a smile on her lips.

_Let me find some comfort here  
Hidden away from the world for a moment.  
__Like a child hiding under the covers  
From the terror of the storm._

_Let me be 'okay' sometime soon._


	46. What I Must Do

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

This was fun to write. Props to anyone who can guess the pattern (though it isn't very hard). Thanks to shadow929, ravenslair, animeobsessed3191, Radcliffeluverforver, and StargazerSarah for reviewing!

-What I Must Do-

I will follow no one's destiny.  
You cannot stop me,  
For I know who I am,  
And what I must do.

There will be no path for me.  
No one has walked it yet,  
And I will be the first,  
To make a way so that  
I can do what I must.

Try not to stand in my way.  
For, stranger, I will pass by,  
And you will not be able  
To touch me.  
For I know where I go  
So that I can do what I must.

No words of yours will reach me.  
I am beyond it all now,  
And the pleas and cries,  
Should you try to speak,  
Will not fall upon my ears.  
I hear only one thing,  
And this is 'do what I must'.

Farewell, stranger. I never knew you.  
None shall know me now.  
My path (the one I must make)  
Is a lonely one.  
My body (I have no further need of it)  
Is untouchable.  
My eyes and ears (senses that are no longer part of me)  
Are caught up in another world.

And you are not part of it, or me.

I will follow no one's destiny.  
But I…

I will _do what I must_.


	47. Is It?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Sadly, lacking in inspiration, I have yet to come up with anything other than _Feathers _pieces. If anyone has suggestions for a story/oneShot, feel free to mention it. Thanks to Spiderjuice, animeobsessed3191, shadow929 and Velveteen Rabbit for reviewing!

Anyway, here is another 'destiny'-ish piece to tack onto my long list... _And yes, I did forget the 'K'. -sweatdrop-_

-Is It?-

And she wonders if it's all worth it  
Because the strain is overloading all her systems  
Colliding with all sense of reality  
Damaging her heart, her soul, who she_ is_  
Even though she fights it, tooth and nail

For some part of her still struggles to remain in control  
Giving in is not an option  
Here, where so many can be hurt  
In a world full of innocents and children  
Justifying her loss of control is not possible

Lo, some angel said, murderers will not be spared  
Maybe at one point she didn't believe in Heaven  
No matter that she knew there was a Hell  
Only now, having seen the good in other people,  
Placing her trust in them

Quiet, sarcastic, tentative trust,  
Running away is something she can't do  
Some act that will defy and break that bond  
This... is not something she can do.  
'Unlike my father', she cries out in the flames of her dreams, 'unlike Him I will not give in'

Venture into the heart of a fire and you may find a place of heat and cold  
Where forces clash in sparks and tongues of flame  
X marks the spot where she is losing control  
Yet she clings to that balance as insanity is driven, over and over again, into her mind  
Zigzagging between reality and pain

AND REMEMBER-  
She does it all for you.


	48. Dance

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

Call me a bad authoress, a cruel updater, or brain-dead- whatever. Because I am. So in an effort to keep my wandering mind off of RL and back onto fanfiction, I'm going to put more _Feathers_ pieces up. At least one a day for the next few days. Thanks to shadow929, animebosessed3191, Spiderjuice, StargazerSarah, and GrayNameless for reviewing!

-Dance- _  
_

_The angels are dancing.  
I see them, every night  
Everywhere._

_In the moonlight  
The streetlight  
Cobble gutters and  
Houses of God  
And I ask  
Ask to dance with them._

_My heart laid open,  
Arms outstretched,  
Pleading from the depths of my being._

_The angels are dancing._

_Every night I cry  
Cry myself to sleep._

_Every night they pass me by  
Perfect elegance  
In stark contrast  
To my stained soul._

_The angels are dancing;_

_I see them everywhere…_

And I am left in my tears.


	49. Gone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

So this came out of an idea that... well... I'll let you see. Thanks to Spiderjuice for reviewing!

-Easy-

"Starfire! Starfire, don't leave!"

Raven wept, hands reaching out helplessly, as though to snatch the shuttle from the sky and drag it back down to Earth.

"**Starfire!**"

She was the only one crying out now, as the alien closed her eyes, fists pressed against the glass, the engines straining to lift the heavy weight into orbit.

"Please- don't… don't go…"

And then Starfire was gone.

_  
If you can sacrifice yourself  
__So easily  
__To save us-  
__Did we mean nothing?  
__Or was it the simplest thing  
__In the world  
__To hand yourself over  
__So that we may live?_

_I wish I was like that.  
__That such a choice was…  
__So obvious  
__For me._

_I wish that the others hadn't stopped fighting  
__To save you.  
__Had kept on, as long as I did.  
__I can't let go of you  
__So easily,  
__Starfire._

_Would they try to fight  
__More?  
__Less?  
W__ould they fight at all  
F__or me?  
__Starfire-  
_Starfire-

_Don't go._

_Don't leave us._

_Don't make me feel this tearing guiltiness in my black heart._

_Don't make me feel this selfish, this low._

_Don't…_

…

_You're already gone, aren't you?_


	50. Words From the Heart

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

Holy cow; _50_ entries? You know, I never thought I'd reach this number. But here we are!

Thanks to StargazerSarah, SpiderJuice, and animeobsessed3191 for reviewing!

-Words From the Heart-

_The longer you cease to speak  
The less they think you'll say._

Raven hummed softly to herself as she threaded another stem through, letting the pleasant sensation of contentment reign.

_Every heart knows this-  
Every heart cries out to say something-  
Even if it's only nonsense._

The daisy chain grew longer as she reached out, picking another one.

_Scream and they will ignore you  
For no one hears the cries of damned souls.  
Too focused on the _now  
_The _immediate  
_The _minor details  
_Other hearts will not hear screams._

There. It was done. She lifted it up and smiled slightly, taking simple pleasure in the small accomplishment.

_But whisper-  
My friend, if you whisper  
Then they will listen,  
Straining to hear what you are saying._

Fingers weaving around the delicate creation, Raven sighed and curled up on the green grass, on an endless field, on a place that was never Earth, in a time that could not exist.

_Whisper and break your silence  
And they will hear you._


End file.
